Making Mom-friends

By Molly DeFrank

How do you go about making mom-friends?

When you’re a kid, making friends is easy. In fact, it’s practically unavoidable. You spend every single day stuck in a classroom with the same 30 kids. One day in 2nd grade you trade your granola bar for Sally’s fruit roll up. Bam, best friends. In 7th grade you gush about Boyz II Men with the girl who sits behind you in math. Before you know it you’re both wearing friendship bracelets. Easy, peasy. In college, you join a sorority. Fifty new Facebook friends added.

Flash forward a few years. You get married. You have a baby. You look around confusedly… Where da moms at???

I see moms everywhere. They’re at Starbucks. They’re speed-walking around my neighborhood with those fancy 3-wheeler jogging strollers. They’re standing in line waiting for the Easter Bunny at Arden Fair.

And I want to be their friend.

I want to talk poopy diapers, teething and sleeping through the night with my fellow reproducers. But it’s not as simple as it was in elementary school. It’s not like you can form a friendship by walking up to another mom in Starbucks and asking her to trade your skinny latte for her caramel macchiato.

Shortly after I entered the world of motherhood, I began searching high and low for mom friends. Don’t get me wrong, I do have some of the coolest girlfriends on the planet. But none of them are anywhere close to wanting kids yet. And after having my baby, I realized that if I want these women to remain my friends, I’m  going to need to also find friends whose eyes won’t glaze over when I talk about why my Petunia Pickle Bottom diaper bag is my favorite.

So, I am on a mission to find mom friends.  In case anyone out there is on this same mission, or plans to be on it soon, here’s what I have found on my quest so far:

Mother and Baby Source in Davis has a support group for new moms with babies up to 5 months old. It’s great while you are on maternity leave. You meet on Wednesday mornings with anywhere from 10 to 25 new moms and their babies. You talk about sleep (or lack thereof), nasal aspirators and baby acne.  Of course, once you head back to work you likely won’t be able to attend middle-of-the-week meetings. But maybe if you attend regularly, by the time your kid is 5 months old you will have formed some friendships. This did not work out for me, as I first attended the class when my daughter was 4 months old. Operation Find Mom Friends failed for me here.

While on maternity leave, I also checked out a women’s group at church. It was great, and even included free child care. Only drawback? It’s another middle-of-the-week thing. The full-time worker bees are left back at square one after the three month babycation is over.

Baby Selah and Molly

So where’s a working mom to go?

Google. That’s where.

Google directed me to the Sacramento chapter of Stroller Strides. Those mommies with the jogging strollers? Yeah, they belong to a club. It’s like a roving exercise class. With babies. And strollers. And nursery rhymes instead of Lady Gaga. But most importantly, a group of mommies! Score! I recently attended my first class. Exercise, cute babies, and a bunch of cool potential mom friends. Best of all, the classes are taught at 9am on weekdays and Saturdays. That’s right, career mamas – you can work full-time, go to a mom group, keep up with your workouts AND possibly even make friends.

I’ve only just begun my hunt for mom friends in Sacramento. But I will not rest until I have found some ladies to join me in pondering today’s most pressing mom-questions. Questions like, “Is it too early to start planning my kid’s first birthday party?” and “Does being a mom mean I can no longer shop at Forever 21?”

Are you a mom? Where did you meet your mom friends? Do you go to a mommy and me group that you would recommend? Do you think I can still shop at Forever 21?

I’d love to hear your comments.

Guest blogger Molly DeFrank is deputy press secretary for Insurance Commissioner Steve Poizner. She recently took on a second full-time job: motherhood. In her spare time she watches piles of laundry take over her home. Her interests include cooking, reading and finding new ways to attach hair accessories to her 5 month old daughter’s bald-ish head.

EDITOR’s NOTE:  We said we wanted to hear from you and we meant it!  Please submit your article, press releases, tips, reviews, and/or commentary to girlsonthegrid AT gmail DOT com.  We can’t promise we’ll use it, but we’ll definitely review everything.  Thanks again Molly – can’t wait to see the next article!

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