FROM THE ARCHIVES: We originally posted this blog on October 27, 2010. Fortunately (unfortunately?), it’s still super relevant today. Enjoy!
By Jamie Romas
Halloween is just around the corner, and this Girl on the Grid could not be more excited. The costumes, the pumpkin carving, the consumption of grotesque amounts of candy… it’s the best day of the year! But there is one tradition that I am not looking forward to this October 31st. The sexy Halloween costume.
Before you peg me as some sort of bra-burning feminazi, let me assure you: I see nothing wrong with flaunting what you’ve got. That’s the beauty of being a 21st-century woman – you can be tough, strong, and intelligent, and still wear something tight, short, and inappropriate.
But for some reason, the sexy Halloween costume just irritates me.
Maybe it’s the desperate plea for attention (nothing says LOOKATME like a Little Red Riding Hood costume consisting of thigh-highs, a bustier, and a cape.)
Or maybe it’s the lack of creativity.
I mean, seriously. All you need to do is open the dictionary, pick a word, place the word “sexy” before it, and voila: Halloween costume. Sexy nurse. Sexy banana. Sexy dining room table. I get even more annoyed when someone puts on their sluttiest outfit, adds wings/antennae/a tail and calls it a costume. That’s not a costume. That’s like taking meatloaf, pouring gravy on it, and calling it a Thanksgiving turkey.
My defining moment with the sexy Halloween costume dates back to 2002. I had just started my first year of law school, and there was a big costume party on Halloween. I decided to dress up as Michael Jackson (circa “Bad”). The red leather jacket, the white sequined glove, the aviator sunglasses, a stuffed monkey named Bubbles… I thought I looked damn good.
Until I showed up at the party. There was a sexy nurse. A sexy French Maid. A sexy Catholic schoolgirl. Sexy Little Bow Peep. Sexy ladybug. And on and on and on. It was like that scene in Mean Girls where Lindsey Lohan’s character shows up to the Halloween party in a zombie costume, while all the other girls are dressed like some variation of a Playboy bunny. Which made me think, maybe I’m doing it wrong? I mean, as law students we were constantly trying to prove our intelligence and ability to think on our feet to our classmates and professors. Maybe there was something to be said for shedding the seriousness of our everyday personas and dressing like, well, bimbos?
The following year, I borrowed the French maid costume from my roommate and tried it out. Admittedly, I got more (male) attention dressed as a French maid that I did as the King of Pop. But by the end of the night I was freezing, my feet hurt, and I was tired of random guys trying to do inappropriate things with my feather duster. I had way more fun the year before, when I got to moonwalk and say “SHAMONE!” all night long.
Don’t get me wrong – I’m not saying that just because a costume is sexy, it’s lacking in creativity. Some perfectly legit costumes are, by their very nature, sexy – think Madonna, Lara Croft, or the Spice Girls. These costumes are revealing, but that’s not the entire point of the costume.
Besides, Halloween is about being something you’re not. If your main goal on October 31st is to be sexy, what does that make you the other 364 days of the year?
Editor’s note: Jamie Romas would like to apologize in advance to her friends who will be wearing sexy Halloween costumes this year. She really does think you’re sexy 365 days of the year.