By Amelia McLear
About a month ago, my boyfriend asked me if I wanted to spend Christmas with his family. It was very sweet—and serious—how he asked, prefacing it with: “I’ve never brought a girl home with me for the holidays…” Granted, I’ve met his family many times and love them very much, but this would be the first Christmas I would spend with them, and the first Christmas I would spend without my family.
This was a big decision. I am an only child, and consider myself a devoted daughter with parents who I see at least twice a week and with whom I talk daily on the phone, and, of course, like all parents, they are not getting any younger. Let me also say, my boyfriend and I are not engaged. I told him I would discuss it with my parents and get back to him.
My mom’s first reaction was: “Do you have a ring on your finger?” Her second reaction was: “If your grandma were alive, I would never allow this.” My dad was less emotive; however he seemed a little sentimental. “If you do go, we’ll miss you,” he said. And then, of course: “Have you talked to your mom about this?”
In the end, we came up with a compromise (actually my boyfriend’s idea). We are coming back from his parents on Saturday the 26th, in order to spend Sunday the 27th with my parents having a special Christmas brunch and opening presents. My parents are looking forward to the brunch (Christmas brunch is our big tradition) and they are spending Christmas Day with my dad’s brother and his family in the Bay Area.
Right now, I am happy with my decision. I feel like it was a way to move our relationship forward, and I am excited to be spending Christmas with my boyfriend and his family (they have snow where they live!).
No doubt I will be updating this story post-holidays, but in the meantime, I’m curious what others think? If you’re in a relationship, how do you manage the split in holidays?
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