By Guest Blogger Amy McGinnis
Much has been said about the single life. From Beyonce’s anthem, “All the Single Ladies” to Harry Nilsson’s “One is the Loneliest Number” to Sociological studies finding the benefits of singledom, all the way back to my own mother, who lives by the notion that staying single is the only way for a woman to truly live.
When I left my marriage of 15 years (and house, and family structure, and career, and hometown) and found myself in a singles apartment smack dab in the middle of midtown Sacramento, all I felt was completely alone and bewildered. I am an extrovert, and I had grown accustomed over the years to the constant noise and motion of a life full speed ahead. Suddenly, life was different. Suddenly, I was alone in a way I had never imagined. I felt adrift at sea in a sinking ship – sharks were starting to circle.
In short, I needed a lifeline – and that is where my girlfriends came in.
Mojo Monday is a little dinner & drinks and gab session with my closest fellow single ladies. Recognizing the importance of bolstering me in my time of despair, we invented Mojo Monday together. Partly, I needed the comfort of shared company of other single ladies really living life well, and partly because I had unwittingly set myself up within walking distance to all of the Sacramento hotspots. So, we decided we could make dinner together in my tiny kitchen enjoying a few home made bevvies, or walk around – no heels required (which was good because some days I could not get out of my sweatpants).
As things started to improve, we ventured further and further all the local watering holes became familiar haunts. Rubicon, the oldest brewery in Sacramento (now, sadly closing its doors for good); Kupros for the upstairs couches for flopping Monkey Bar for the no-kidding front row football viewing seats at the bar and the incredible drinks, one time I had a Pimm’s Cup there that turned me on to Pimm’s for the next 3 months; Tres Hermanas for patio pitchers of margaritas, Chicago Fire for the deep dish, the list goes on and on and on, that’s the great thing about midtown.
The name came from one of my dear friends who told me that I just needed to get my mojo back. This is a loose reference to a Door’s song, L.A. Woman, a song that was not particularly relatable to this period of my life, but it was catchy enough, and the name stuck.
The monthly check-in, support and love from my friends helped me through some of the most difficult early days of my life-splosion. Building connections, and maintaining them over time has been shown to combat and insulate people from the isolation of a fresh breakup, so I was going to use all of the science I could, to recover and rebound as quickly as possible.
Two Years Later
Two years later, many aspects of my life-splosion have been righted. I am happier than before I left my marriage – it was not the end of the world, just the end of a very long, very bad episode which probably shouldn’t have drug out as long as it did.
I have had amazing new adventures including visiting 4 countries last year, I gave myself a passport for my first single birthday, a gift I still treasure. I have established and developed some wonderful new friendships – some are co-workers that turned into forever friends, and some re-established dormant friendships have been rekindled. I have reconciled the fact that motherhood looks different now, but not worse. Co-parenting can be difficult and anxiety-producing, but ultimately the best choice for the children. I’ve begun a new career path that is much more in line with what my education prepared me for. I have found a new town that I can call home, even better than my hometown – midtown was my crash pad, but as it turns out was also my launching pad.
Also, I have fallen in love, so I guess you could say it worked, because I definitely got my mojo back. 🙂