Because it’s NONE of your business

By Kearsten Shepherd

Kearsten Shepherd
Kearsten Shepherd

It’s time to stop asking each other things that are none of our business.

When are you getting married?
When are you having kids?
Do you want kids?
Are you having more kids?
It’s none of your f**king business!!!!

I’ve been married almost ten years with no children currently, and my husband and I dated for four years before getting engaged – so I think I’ve been asked most of these about a million times. As soon as you hit one milestone, it’s on to when the next “expected” life event will be taking place. Why do we feel like it is ok to ask these questions? It’s not. It’s none of our business. It’s not.

I understand that many people do it because for some reason it’s ok to do so. To make small talk of other people’s life choices – but it shouldn’t be. You never know what someone else is going through. You don’t know their struggles. Maybe the woman who’s been married a while has been trying to have kids for years and can’t. How do you think it makes her feel to have people ask her if she wants kids or when she’s going to have kids? Pretty shitty actually. And it’s none of your business.

Maybe the person you just asked when they’re getting married can’t because they’re not divorced from their last partner. Or they don’t have money for a ring. Or they don’t believe in marriage. Who knows! But it’s none of your business.

Maybe the couple with the adorable toddler or five-year-old, or whatever, is experiencing secondary infertility. Maybe they don’t want more kids. Maybe one is enough.

Why do you care?

Are you friends? Really? Are you?

Because if you were, you would probably already know the answer! You’re not, so don’t ask. Have you just met this person? Are you trying to fill the awkward silence between you? Just STOP!!!!!

I’m calling on everyone here and now to start instituting new etiquette that make these questions off limits. Until we are able to spread the word, here are a few answers that will help get you by.

To the person who asks when you’re getting married
 “Why buy the horse when the rides are free?”
To the person who asks you when you’re having kids
 “I already have one – my husband/partner!”
To the person asking if you’re having more kids 
“I think we got it pretty perfect the first time around.”

Also “none of your business” works for any of these as well. What other questions should be off limits? Let us know!


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