Finding Your “Enough” Point
By Leslie M. Bosserman (Guest Blogger)
From a young age, we’re asked “What do you want to be when you grow up?” instead of “Who do you want to be?” This question predisposes us to value the task or role we will be doing over the values and character that determine our being.
Through my work as a Leadership Coach and Lifestyle Strategist, I’ve noticed a lot of Millennials struggling with finding their “enough point.” They are so focused on doing more and filling their lives (even with good things!) that they don’t know when to stop. There’s always another task, a new goal, or metaphorical mountain to climb.
When did efficiency replace sufficiency?
When we prioritize doing over being, we sell out on fulfillment for the sake of achievement.
Something has to change if we want to lead with intention.
A Healthy Antidote to Doing More
It’s time to stop striving for perfection without rest or even celebration for a job well done (because, after all, rest and celebration are GOOD things that we really need!)
The first step to self-acceptance is recognizing who you are now without judgment for what you haven’t done yet. The Latin for the word “accept” is acceptare, which means “to receive, willingly.” You must first slow down enough to look into your life and receive what you find.
British psychologist and author, Dr. Robert Holden, believes that “self-acceptance is an invitation to stop trying to change yourself into the person you wish to be long enough to find out who you really are.”
Self-acceptance is an invitation to take an honest look into your life in order to acknowledge who you already are before you take off running toward the next task. Then you are able to take stock of what is working, what needs to change, and who you want to become.
Imagine what would be possible if we came face to face with ourselves – even the ugly, messy bits – and made peace with where we are now so we could claim more. What would be possible then? Here’s what the research shows…
People who practice self-acceptance are…
- Self-aware of their triggers, strengths, and weaknesses
- At peace with what isn’t “right” or “done” yet
- Radically honest with themselves
- Accepting of their limitations
- Confident in developing their talents
- In love with their life, just as it is now
Sounds pretty desirable, right? Let’s keep exploring…
As you begin to embrace self-acceptance more, I invite you to use the following questions to reflect even deeper:
- In your life, how do you determine what “enough” looks and feels like?
- What’s easy about this?
- What’s that hardest thing?
- Is there anything you’re rejecting instead of accepting? Consider how you can embrace this instead and make peace with it.
- If there was one thing that you could do now that would make the most difference for you, what would it be?
These reflective questions should give you a jump start on your personal journey to embracing self-acceptance. I’ll be sharing a series of interactive resources throughout the month of May to help you explore what self-acceptance looks and feels like (and doesn’t) so you can claim whatever “enough” is for you.
5 Great Resources on Self-Acceptance:
- A Life of Being, Having, and Doing Enough
- The Gifts of Imperfection
- The Path to Unconditional Self-Acceptance, Psychology Today
- How Self-Acceptance Can Crack Open Your Life: A Radical 10-Day Plan To Accept Who You Really Are
- The Self-Acceptance Project: A Free Video Series
About Leslie: Leslie believes that success is based on fulfillment, not retirement. As a champion for authentic living, she partners with dynamic leaders, social entrepreneurs, and creative change-makers who want to develop their natural strengths so they can live and lead wholeheartedly. She is the founder of Lead With Intention™ where she supports Millennial leaders and their managers by creating customized leadership solutions. She also serves as a volunteer coach with The Coaching Fellowship and locally as the TEDxSacramento Event Coordinator. Learn more about Leslie and connect with her on Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, Instagram, Pinterest, and Medium.