Hooking Up With An Ex: Genius Move or Worst Mistake Ever?
By Christie Goodfellow
Just in case you’ve missed the PSA. It’s true. I’ve joined the ranks of the single 30-somethings in Sacramento. My breakup is a few months old and I have successfully not drastically changed everything about my appearance, burned all his things, or gone on some crazy drinking spree downtown.
Did I drink a bottle of wine every night? That’s none of your damned business. It’s between me and the cashier at Trader Joes. “Fuck Janet…I know if I buy six I get 10% off. You told me last time.”
So now what? I have no interest in dating apps and definitely am not going to start going out….what will my Hulu account think?
Enter the out of town ex. (Now, mind you not my recent ex, but an ex from way back….like college way back.) Good idea to have some casual fun? Well let’s discuss.
Here’s what’s awesome about sleeping with an ex boyfriend. He has already seen me naked. Granted, it was ten years ago and I may or may not resemble my twenty-two year old self, but still he has a general idea of what to expect. It should be easy and comfortable with zero awkwardness, right? Um…right.
In fact I’m so sure that’s the case that I’ve booked a wax, Botox, a hair appointment and a nail appointment. I’ve also started a 30-day abs and booty challenge after realizing that somewhere in the last ten years he’s gotten really fit…like stomach muscles for days fit. I guess you can say maybe I’m actually a tiny bit nervous. Actually…wait. I’m in full on panic mode and will most likely refuse to get on the plane.
All drama aside it will be nice to be able to skip the get to know each other period. It will be more like catching up….with an old friend. An old friend whom you take “adult naps” with. I like that we have memories and things to connect on without having to force it.
What concerns me the most is that obviously we broke up for a reason. Was the reason because I had a post college meltdown and disappeared to Costa Rica only to come back and immediately move? Maybe. Or maybe not.
Most people would say it’s never a good idea to recycle your exes. Maybe this will be a disaster and I’ll be stuck on a three day rendezvous with a beautifully Botoxed face and nothing to show for it (plus side…my resting bitch face will be on point).
Will it turn into a whose fault was it that we didn’t work argument? It better not. Can it really be just a three day sexcation without having the old feelings come back? I’m not 100% sure. Do I care? Not really.
That’s the beauty of just spending a weekend with an old flame. If it’s horrible you can pretend it never happened. Certainly DO NOT Instagram any portion of your trip and lie to your friends about where you’ve been. Problem solved.
The key to hooking up with your ex is to avoid taking it too seriously. Just have fun. Maybe you are only remembering the good things about him but does it really matter if you’re only there for a weekend? Nope.
You have the whole plane ride home to decide whether or not you’ll be returning and to write an entire list of things you want to change about his apartment. Maybe he was the one who got away. You’ll never know unless you go and try it out.
And if it’s the worst choice you’ve ever made…text me. I’ll pick you up from the airport early. No questions asked.