4 Signs You Should Hit That Unfriend Button IRL
By Christie Goodfellow
It’s true. We all have that friend who’s always late or always cancelling last minute. We all have that friend who is always hitting you up for help when she moves but is mysteriously unavailable when a U-Haul is in your driveway. We all have that friend who disappears when a new dude appears and reappears when he’s out of the picture. But how do you know if this person is just a space cadet or really a bad friend?
Here’s some signs to watch out for:
Sign #1- You’re always the one who initiates communication.
You send the weekly texts. You plan the dinners or lady dates to the gym. You keep up on what’s happening in her life. I had a friend who would always use the excuse, “I totally forgot to hit send on the text I meant to send back to you.” Hmmm…doubtful. No one is that forgetful and I sent that message four days ago so you haven’t checked your texts for four days? K. Just tell me your phone died while you’re at it and you couldn’t find a charger. What it really means is I am not a priority as your friend.
Sign #2- She only wants to hang out when she’s already in your area.
My ex-BFF and I were inseparable when we lived in the Bay Area. Now that we’ve both moved to the Sacramento Area you’d think it’d be easier than taking a bus to Bart to another bus to see each other. Nope…but every time she’s here for work she wants to hang and it’s only because she’s already here. So the 40 minute drive is too much for you to come hang out if you’re not being paid for it? Bummer. We all have busy lives but if your friend is treating your hang out time like an entry on her list of errands after work it might be time to move on.
Sign #3- She doesn’t make an effort to include you with her other friends.
People change and grow. They sometimes drift apart and have less in common but if your friend suddenly has a new group of friends that she’s always with and you’re not included it may be an indicator that you are outgrowing each other. I like to surround myself with fun, exciting gals and I always want my friends to become friends. I totally understand you have different groups of friends for different parts of your lives but if you can’t attend a brunch without feeling like you’re intruding then maybe it’s time to find a new squad. Taylor Swift if you’re reading this and you have an opening…holler at your girl.
Sign #4- She is the queen of white lies.
She can’t go out because she’s sick. Then you see on Insta that’s she’s posting pictures of the restaurant she went to. She cancels last minute on girls’ weekend because she has to work and then you run into her out and about. It’s ok to have a life outside of your friendships but if you can’t be honest with each other then it’s probably not a very healthy friendship.
Bottom line is friendships are supposed to be mutually beneficial. Both friends should put in the effort. If you have to chase someone down to hang out then it’s not worth it. Surround yourself with other awesome gals. Life is too short for people who don’t make your life better. Next time she calls (if she ever does) just hit that decline button. Unfriending that awful friend is just what you need.