Short Hair Don’t Care (and neither should you)
By Christie Goodfellow
As a girl who has sported some form of a pixie cut for the last five years I’ve heard it all. “You must love short hair cause you never have to style it. It must be so easy.” Wrong, nope and Bye Felicia!
See, when my longer locked peers have a bad hair day they can put it in a cute pony, sock bun, fishtail braid…the list is endless. What can I do? Wear a ball cap or possibly just stay home, cry and immediately search for someone to do extensions on Google? Okay, maybe it’s not that dramatic but short hair is not easy. It’s a choice that I make knowing I will need to put some effort into my hair each day.
I’ve attempted to grow my hair out in the past. It’s the same poor choice every time. EVERY DAMN TIME. It gets about chin length before I find myself in Chico’s wearing capris and surfing Pinterest wondering how the hell I got there. Before long, I have a mom bob. Of course there are plenty of fashionable moms out there, but I’ve seen my mid length hair future and I won’t be one of them. Panicked, I immediately head to my hair stylist and request my funky short do again.
And when I do, I can’t even step out of the salon or post my new short coif to IG before it happens. The questions. It never fails.
At drinks with the girls: “Oh…you cut your hair again? Did you and Jay break up?” On a scale of one to Taylor Swift how mad are you? Are you sure you guys are ok? “ Yes girls, he has an Ashley Madison account and the only thing I could think of to do was cut off all my hair. That’ll show him.
Geez…ladies. Get serious.! A haircut does not mean a breakup. In fact, Jay prefers my short hair because it makes me feel more stylish. So stylish I may even bedazzle those Chico’s capris chin length hair version of me bought.
I’m all for marriage equality but where the F did that come from? I politely tell the person that I have a boyfriend but I’m sure glad for the change too.
“Really? I would have thought with that haircut you’d surely have a girlfriend.”
Huh? So all short-haired ladies have a girlfriend and all long-haired ladies have a boyfriend? Got it…so if you have a lob? REJOICE! You get Ryan Gosling and Ruby Rose. Best day ever.
Why does every style change need a reason? Here’s the entire reason I cut and continue to keep my hair short.
Michelle Williams. Plain and simple.
She has rocked that pixie cut for years and every time I see her 2014 Louis Vuitton ad I immediately become obsessed all over again. If my hair is getting long I cut it again. If I’ve changed my color it always goes back to blond even if my hairdresser says it’ll fall out. I know what you’re thinking. A cut and a hair color change? Now what could that mean?
It means that Michelle Williams ruins my life every Fall while simultaneously saving me from the mom bob. I know she’s since grown her hair out but I still love her. I just don’t get it though. Long hair? Now what could THAT mean? Break up? New job? No. It’s gotta be a mid-life crisis. In that case…see you in Chico’s Michelle. I’ll be the one in the capris.