10 truths about office flower deliveries

By Sonya Sorich

sonya
Sonya Sorich 

Flower power is alive and well. But instead of peace signs and bell bottoms, it happens beside a backdrop of cubicles.

I’m talking about office flower deliveries.
In theory, they’re a losing scenario for everyone involved, producing awkward conversations for the recipient and reinforcing feelings of loneliness for observers.
While especially prevalent on Valentine’s Day, the deliveries are a workplace wildcard year-round. And they’re not going away.
So before you go all Edward Scissorhands on your co-worker’s bouquet, take a deep breath and remember you’re not alone. Presented for your consideration, here are 10 truths about office flower deliveries.
  1. When the delivery box arrives, it will take approximately 27 minutes to find a working pair of scissors.
  2. The recipient will get deep comments from bystanders, such as this always insightful line: “Oh! Did you get flowers?”
  3. The roses will prompt all sorts of relationship war stories. Hearing Susan from accounting say “my boo” for the first time will be both endearing and unsettling.
  4. The powdery “flower food” that accompanies the delivery will somehow end up in the office condiment drawer.
  5. No roses will ever smell good enough to overpower your colleague’s unfortunate decision to eat salmon at his desk.
  6.  Valuable company time will be devoted to taking desk bouquet photos for social media.
  7. There will be at least one casualty involving the water from the flowers and a Very Important Phone Number written with a felt-tip marker.
  8. The flowers will outstay their welcome.
  9. The empty delivery box will remain beside a too-small trash can for a minimum of 10 days.
  10.  10. The whole experience will leave everyone emotionally exhausted, and fortunately, three-day-old cake in the break room will be there to help.
Credit line: When she’s not sending flowers to herself, Sonya Sorich covers dining, retail and small businesses for the Sacramento Business Journal. (http://www.bizjournals.com/sacramento/)

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