Social Media Fails: Lady Edition

By The Editors

Social media. How we love you, how we loathe you.

For those of us who were in their 20’s (or older) when Facebook, Twitter, Instagram (etc) all went mainstream, it was life-changing…revolutionary even. Never before did we have a way to share our lives and opinions with the world. You can reconnect (and stay connected) with old classmates or family members. You can organize and promote events. You can even report to the world your firsthand perspective of dramatic and historic events…in real-time. And that’s ahhh-mazing.

These days, we’re just not so sure.

If you’re a professional, you have a personal brand – whether you actively cultivate it or not. You want to look your best and put forth the best image of yourself. But from filters and the perfect angle to “sorority” bent elbows and the group squat, it’s ALL starting to seem contrived – an exaggerated distortion of our lives. Maybe it’s always been this way, and we’re just noticing it now because it’s reaching critical mass where everyone (including us) is falling into varying cliched traps.

Don’t believe us? There’s now an entire Instagram feed of dudes making fun of the stereotypical things we’re posting…and it’s amazing. We couldn’t stop laughing – especially when we realized pictures we had posted…earlier that day.

So in no particular order, these are the social media habits that just feel PLAYED OUT:

1. Car Selfies

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How did these even start? Who was the first woman to leave the hair salon and say, “damn I’m looking good. I need to share with my world from…from…I know, the front seat of my car!!” Yes the lighting is good but in this case, it IS a better option to find some textured brick wall or graffiti art mural for your selfie. Or just show your friends your new do, I don’t know IRL…

2. #OOTD

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If we see one more full-length-mirror-bedroom-selfie, we’re going to throw our lap tops out the window. Special occasions? Yes. But everyday is excessive. What do we consider excessive? 47 MILLION TAGS ON INSTAGRAM. Especially when compared to 12.6 million for #CleanEating or 1.2 million for #AdoptDontShop. Are we totally jealous that we have neither the time or desire to get so cute for work that our #OOTD will draw 100+ likes? Duh. But unless you’re one of the lucky ducks on this planet that get to shop and take selfies for a living, just stop.

3. The Humble Brag

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See also the #ToBlessedToBeStressed tag. At least once a week, these chicks post a message entirely too long (usually accompanied with an inspirational quote they pulled from Pinterest over a sunset) about how amazing their lives are because someone somewhere said they were great. We are genuinely happy that you’re loved, but compliments aren’t meant to be repeated and amplified by you. “OMG the homeless guy outside my building said my ass was on fire today. Life is beautiful – hug your loved ones!” See how ridiculous that sounds? It looks like you’re begging people to reinforce your existence via likes and comments. If you’re truly touched by someone’s sentiment, ask THEM to share it on their profiles and tag you, or just learn to take a compliment and have that be enough.

4. Wedding Pinterest Boards…When You’re Single

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This is not a good look. We polled our guy friends (not that we care what they think), and they overwhelmingly said this was a huge red flag when dating someone because it makes them feel like you’re only after the destination rather than the journey. Ok, clearly we’re paraphrasing, but essentially it makes you look a little desperate to snag the “fantasy” rather than focus on what’s real (um, the actual relationship). They all tend to be named the same thing: “Maybe One Day” or “When It’s Right” and some of them get down to d-e-t-a-i-l-s. Gifts for the guests? Check. Wedding china pattern? Check. What she thinks the groom should wear (as if it’s her decision)? Sigh, check. While, it’s cool to dream and make vision boards, they invented privacy settings for a reason.

5. The Ghost Tag

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Why are we being tagged at the Sacramento airport en route to Paris when we’re stuck in a conference room in midtown? Why is a trashy club tagging us for an event so they can hijack our feed and followers in their promotion efforts? If we don’t know you or if we’re not there or if we’re not actively involved then leave us out of it.

6. Work Drama Vents

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Rule numero uno for any true professional: you don’t bash clients or employers (even former) in public. No explanation given because none is needed –  and if we have to explain it you, good luck with life. Save these vent sessions over a third bottle of wine with girlfriends. And if you think that post is private, your boss could be friends of friends of your friends. #YoureFiredBeforeYouQuitBecauseYouFoundYourDreamJob #Whoopsie

7. Their Versus They’re Versus There

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We’re ALL guilty of it, but doesn’t it make you cringe every time you see it? GOTG is guilty of typos and run-on sentences on a daily basis (including this post), but this one is the worst. Hit edit and fix, or delete and repost ASAP – and then pray no one saw it. 🙂

8. #TBT #FBF

Unless you’re using it for marketing purposes,  Throw Back Thursday (#TBT) is just a less obvious way to be a complete narcissist without posting a selfie. Besides your mom, aunt, sister, cousin and that weird friend that likes your pics from eight months prior, no one but you cares what you looked like as a baby/kid/teen or two weeks ago on your vacation (cause you didn’t get enough likes the first time you posted). Especially your #TBT to college days… Are you trying to make yourself ineligible to future employers? …’Cause its working.

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So are we out of touch? Are we the only ones that sometimes secretly wish they could ditch social media…but can’t because of their profession or addiction? And if not, what do we do about it? Band together to start posing our real #OOTD in leggings with bleach stains on the knees and beat up Uggs? That seems equally ridiculous.

At the end of the day this is a first world problem amidst a first world whine, but the absurdity of modern life is sometimes entirely overwhelming.

Hopefully it made you giggle (at yourself) and think twice (good or bad) about your next social media post.

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