Back to Work: Confessions of a Working Mom
By Jamee Villa
It was a long six months. It felt like an eternity.
Sure, I took a few trips and had some great down time by myself but it was a long six months being out of the work force and being a stay-at-home mom.
Let me start off by saying that this was not my intention. At the time, I was so incredibly happy to leave my dead end job. The first month we went to Kauai, Tahoe, Napa, etc. Then the days started blurring together. Dishes were always done. Laundry always folded. Dinner was ready and oh, all the scheduled play dates.
We were only available for play dates on certain days so coordinating those with other mom schedules got tricky at times. My calendar was an open book. There was nothing holding me and my daughter back. To read that may sound like a dream. A dream to mamas out in the workforce rushing to get home at days end. It was not a dream to me. I am not meant to be a stay-at-home mom.
I repeated that to my husband close to one million times. I think he got it by the fifth time. I envied the mamas out there earning a paycheck, putting in the work, being creative, having work friends and participating in water cooler talk. The only people I talked to were my child, our dog, and maybe the mailman if I could catch him on the porch and lend his ear about the weather. Anything! Anything to talk to someone and feel a part of the great big world out there and get far away from PBS cartoons…
Going Back to Work
It took a few interviews (six to be exact) before I landed a position that finally gets me. I wake up at 5:30am every morning ready to tackle whatever task lands on my desk at 7:30am. Who am I? My husband did ask me that a few times. I am positive that my lack luster personality over my “break” was less than appealing. One can only hear someone whine about small little struggles at home. I write this not to discourage any Mom on their decision to be a SAHM or a Working Mom. I only write this to state its okay to be honest with yourself and not feel like a bad mom.
Seriously, I cannot handle another mom guilt and I am sure neither can you. There are days where I wish I could be at home snuggling with my daughter and taking her to the park. But it only takes me about a minute or two to realize that is okay and that I will just need to snuggle her a little more in the evening and on the weekends when we have that special family time. Entering back into the workforce was something I embraced. I like to feel like I am using my talents and lets be honest, I like to earn a paycheck which allows me to stop by the Nordstrom counter at lunch for a new lip gloss. I earned it, damn it!