I Need A Housewife

By Laura Braden

“Funny” story – the other day I received a notice in the mail that my health insurance had expired (I’m an independent consultant) because I had forgotten to pay the bill. Whoops.

As someone who prides her self-proclaimed ability to multi-task and stay organized, I was shocked that I had let something so “adult” slip through the cracks. Turns out my auto-pay had turned off magically, and the notices were going to an old address. It took me a whopping three hours to sort it all out, which of course I had to do during business hours because their call center is only open from 9am-5pm.

…Then I took a look at my to do list (even though it’s now eletronic, I still find few things more satisfying than crossing off completed tasks) and realized that the “personal/admin” section was dangerously long…and embarrassingly dated. Set up a dentist appt, get my car fixed from being keyed, update my magazine subscriptions with my new address, drop off (a dozen) items to the dry cleaners, fill out the paperwork on my life insurance, take a bridesmaid’s dress (for a wedding in two weeks!) to a seamstress for alterations…you get the idea.

…Then I realized how completely dependent I am on my personalized system for staying organized. I have four clients, five email accounts and three time zones that I consistently have to focus on (because I really like the ability to work from home in my PJs, pay rent and travel). So from birthdays to conference calls, if it’s not on my calendar  – or apparently not set up correctly on autopay – my world comes to a crashing halt.

…All of which drew me to the following conclusion: I. Need. A. Freaking. Housewife.

First world whine? Yes. But the reality of my life? Yes.

Despite my mom/grandmother’s best efforts, I was simply born without the domestic gene, and as “busy” as I am, I’m still a household of one. I have only ME to be responsible for (plus Betty White)…and I feel constantly behind in my personal life.

Housewives are like wizards to me. Running a household and keeping the lives of multiple humans organized and productive is probably one of the hardest jobs on the planet – you’re literally the CEO of your home, having to establish branding (IE home decor), reinforce the organization’s (IE family) culture, deal with finances and manage diverse personalities (not to mention political infighting among siblings).

And I had a top-notch example that I got to witness in action – I was lucky enough to grow up with a mom who was usually home when we jumped off the school bus – oftentimes with Rice Krispy treats waiting on us. She helped us with homework, made sure the bills were paid on-time, kept the pantry stocked, made our home comfortable/beautiful, and drove me/younger brother to ballet-football-horseback riding-baseball-piano lessons – not to mention serving as PTA president, teaching Sunday School, and volunteering her time to multiple organizations throughout the community. Looking back, I don’t know how she did it…and most of the time, she did it with a smile on her face.

…This is a post without a real ending (sorry dear readers)…so I guess I’ll make it a job posting – the hours are long, the pay is nonexistent but it’s casual work-attire, you can bring your dog to work, yoga is everyday at 11am and happy hour starts at 4pm.

And if you have tips for this sort of thing, by all means share!

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1 Comment

  1. Chantel Elder says

    Take 4-6 hours during the week – (I chose Tuesdays as deadlines for work never fall on Tuesdays) and manage your list. Every now and then you won’t have anything you HAVE to do so you get a scheduled relaxation day. Make time for yourself and treat it like an important meeting!

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