Dear Santa: All I Want for Christmas is for My Two-Year Old to be Potty-Trained

By Rachel Michelin 

That is exactly how my letter to Santa started this year.  No new purse, no new jewelry, not even a gift certificate to my favorite spa – all I really want is to stop changing diapers and wiping up pee from the floor (I should have bought stock in Clorox wipes!).  For the past two months my husband and I have been potty training my two-year old daughter and at this point I think she is winning.  We started out strong – followed the “Have your child potty trained in a weekend” handout our daycare provider gave us and after one rough day it looked like we saw light at the end of the tunnel.  I was thrilled, no more diaper bag to lug around and the money I would save on diapers could be used to pay for a cool treat for mom.  We even took a trip to Arizona via Southwest Airlines – no diaper and she made it.  I thought we could give away the last few diapers we had, BUT then things took a turn.

Soon my two-year old got smart and realized that it really wasn’t so bad to sit in dirty underwear and why should she run to the bathroom when it was so fun to watch mommy and daddy panic.  She also thought it was fun to make mommy visit EVERY public restroom in the greater Sacramento area because each toilet flushes differently.  Better yet, when mommy and daddy are trying to unload a car full of firewood and you have the urge to go, just drop your pants in the front yard and have it – mommy and daddy can deal with the Homeowner’s Association (I am not sure there is a regulation against going to the bathroom in the front yard, but after my daughter’s incident there may be one).

While I am sad that my little baby is growing up, I am quickly realizing that I am losing to a two-year old, she is out smarting me and I am not sure what to do next.  We tried candy, we tried the “big girl” talk, and at this point I would bribe her with a new car when she turns 16.  I just want this madness to stop!!

Sometimes though I have to laugh – professionally I can handle just about anything and have been pretty successful.  I am good at what I do, but I am at a loss with a little blue eyed, blonde hair girl who just when I think I have reached the end of my rope cracks this grin that you just can’t be mad at.  So, I will continue on.

Her new thing now is “I need privacy mommy” and I am supposed to leave the room.  I have been keeping the door slightly open just enough to watch her try to cram as much toilet paper she can into the toilet — yes my new favorite household item is the plunger – I  find it mind-boggling how quickly a roll of toilet paper can get into the toilet.

I do know that one day it will finally click and it will be sad when we don’t have Pampers boxes lining our garage , but at this moment, all I can think of is please:

“Dear Santa – Please, Please, Please help my two-year old be potty trained for Christmas!!”

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