Making Mom-friends

By Molly DeFrank

How do you go about making mom-friends?

When you’re a kid, making friends is easy. In fact, it’s practically unavoidable. You spend every single day stuck in a classroom with the same 30 kids. One day in 2nd grade you trade your granola bar for Sally’s fruit roll up. Bam, best friends. In 7th grade you gush about Boyz II Men with the girl who sits behind you in math. Before you know it you’re both wearing friendship bracelets. Easy, peasy. In college, you join a sorority. Fifty new Facebook friends added.

Flash forward a few years. You get married. You have a baby. You look around confusedly… Where da moms at???

I see moms everywhere. They’re at Starbucks. They’re speed-walking around my neighborhood with those fancy 3-wheeler jogging strollers. They’re standing in line waiting for the Easter Bunny at Arden Fair.

And I want to be their friend.

I want to talk poopy diapers, teething and sleeping through the night with my fellow reproducers. But it’s not as simple as it was in elementary school. It’s not like you can form a friendship by walking up to another mom in Starbucks and asking her to trade your skinny latte for her caramel macchiato.

Shortly after I entered the world of motherhood, I began searching high and low for mom friends. Don’t get me wrong, I do have some of the coolest girlfriends on the planet. But none of them are anywhere close to wanting kids yet. And after having my baby, I realized that if I want these women to remain my friends, I’m  going to need to also find friends whose eyes won’t glaze over when I talk about why my Petunia Pickle Bottom diaper bag is my favorite.

So, I am on a mission to find mom friends.  In case anyone out there is on this same mission, or plans to be on it soon, here’s what I have found on my quest so far:

Mother and Baby Source in Davis has a support group for new moms with babies up to 5 months old. It’s great while you are on maternity leave. You meet on Wednesday mornings with anywhere from 10 to 25 new moms and their babies. You talk about sleep (or lack thereof), nasal aspirators and baby acne.  Of course, once you head back to work you likely won’t be able to attend middle-of-the-week meetings. But maybe if you attend regularly, by the time your kid is 5 months old you will have formed some friendships. This did not work out for me, as I first attended the class when my daughter was 4 months old. Operation Find Mom Friends failed for me here.

While on maternity leave, I also checked out a women’s group at church. It was great, and even included free child care. Only drawback? It’s another middle-of-the-week thing. The full-time worker bees are left back at square one after the three month babycation is over.

Baby Selah and Molly

So where’s a working mom to go?

Google. That’s where.

Google directed me to the Sacramento chapter of Stroller Strides. Those mommies with the jogging strollers? Yeah, they belong to a club. It’s like a roving exercise class. With babies. And strollers. And nursery rhymes instead of Lady Gaga. But most importantly, a group of mommies! Score! I recently attended my first class. Exercise, cute babies, and a bunch of cool potential mom friends. Best of all, the classes are taught at 9am on weekdays and Saturdays. That’s right, career mamas – you can work full-time, go to a mom group, keep up with your workouts AND possibly even make friends.

I’ve only just begun my hunt for mom friends in Sacramento. But I will not rest until I have found some ladies to join me in pondering today’s most pressing mom-questions. Questions like, “Is it too early to start planning my kid’s first birthday party?” and “Does being a mom mean I can no longer shop at Forever 21?”

Are you a mom? Where did you meet your mom friends? Do you go to a mommy and me group that you would recommend? Do you think I can still shop at Forever 21?

I’d love to hear your comments.

Guest blogger Molly DeFrank is deputy press secretary for Insurance Commissioner Steve Poizner. She recently took on a second full-time job: motherhood. In her spare time she watches piles of laundry take over her home. Her interests include cooking, reading and finding new ways to attach hair accessories to her 5 month old daughter’s bald-ish head.

EDITOR’s NOTE:  We said we wanted to hear from you and we meant it!  Please submit your article, press releases, tips, reviews, and/or commentary to girlsonthegrid AT gmail DOT com.  We can’t promise we’ll use it, but we’ll definitely review everything.  Thanks again Molly – can’t wait to see the next article!

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9 Comments

  1. Julie Taranto says

    Molly, you are rib-splitting, gut-busting HILARIOUS! I wanted to cry at the beginning of your article as I found myself in the exact same situation when I was a new mom with four walls closing in rather quickly. Stroller Strides was where I found so much more than a great workout, and I am so glad that you enjoyed your experience at our Stroller Strides class. You never know what might work for you and your little ones, but it’s always good to give those potential BFF groups a gamble…you just might strike it rich! Thanks for sharing your journey with us…it brings back many memories for me. Oh yes, and I think it’s completely acceptable for you to shop at Forever 21—maybe just sport a pair of dark glasses while you peruse??!!

  2. Sharlene says

    It’s never too early to start planning the first birthday party…I picked a theme for my son’s first birthday before he was sitting up…now it’s only one month away and I’m wondering where the time has gone! LOVE Forever 21, check out a fellow mama blogger (and a Mom friend that I know from StrollerFit) http://www.tracyonthecheap.com. She puts together great outfits for cheap, Forever 21 is a common go to source for her! And, check out Kindermusik, another great way to meet Mom’s and fun class to do with your baby, There are classes in the evening and on Saturday, http://www.musicandmychild.com. I have been going since my 3-year old was your daughter’s age and we love it!

  3. Danielle says

    What a fantastic article! I can relate to so much about it. I just met Molly in stroller strides last week and have found a great deal of comfort in talking with other moms about anything and everything! Molly, I would love to shop with you at forever 21! In our dark glasses, of course!

  4. Kaysea says

    Desperately searching for Mom friends in Sacramento. I don’t drive, which has made it so hard to connect. Help! lol

  5. Marci Henrich says

    Great article. I’m a Sacramento area mom who just released an app to help all of us meet new mommy friends. It’s kinda like “tinder” for finding mom friends.

    Would love for you to review it and share it with all of your readers.

    We’re called Momdezvous and we just launched last week.

    You can find us on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram @Momdezvous

  6. Kathy Smith says

    Consider joining us at MomsMentorMoms for our first day-long gathering event to explore and celebrate the motherhood experience on Saturday, Nov 12th from 10am – 3pm at the Julia Morgan House in Sacramento. You can register on the Gathering Events page at http://www.momsmentormoms.com. Lunch is provided and seating is limited.

  7. Julie DePrada-Schott says

    It’s 2017, I just moved away from all of my friends in Redding to Sacramento. Started a new job at 4 1/2 months pregnant and now I feel I have lost my peeps. I am an older mother (40 years young) of 2 boys with one more on the way. I feel too old for the 20 something group because I started my career when they were born, BUT people my age have already had their kids and are working towards empty nesting and retirement. There has got to be a group of like-minded professional women in Sacramento who waited to have kids and now are in their 30’s and 40’s looking for new mommy companions that can discuss the latest acquisitions and also which diaper fits the best. For now, I will keep my head focused on my new job and hope I come across a group online or walking on the street (I have no shame) to connect with! If you know of anyone in the same situation, please drop me an email at gidgetpdx@gmail.com.
    Julie
    (Gang less in Sacramento)

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