Discussion: Online Dating: Passé or Essential?

By Caroline Silveira

I can’t find a decent guy to date (and really don’t know where to look) and amonline wondering if I have to succumb to online dating.  But then I wonder if it isn’t already passé.  I would love to hear of others’ experiences or knowledge on the matter.

For me, it seems to be a humiliating step to have to take – a failure – but maybe I’m going to have to work a little harder to find true love.  Maybe online dating has become so essential to finding someone who also wants to be in a relationship that I’m just out of the loop!  If the magic potion is not online dating, then where/how do you meet decent guys in this town?

(59% said essential, 41% said passé)

EDITOR’s NOTE:  We want to hear from you – vote in our poll and leave comments below!

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  1. admin says

    I’ve never used an online dating service, but I’m skeptical. I’ve yet to know anyone personally who has found their current INSERT on one of these sites. I feel like everyone knows someone who knows someone who has found their soul mate, husband, boyfriend – but it’s always 2-3 people removed. A connection is a connection – regardless if you met him online or at a bar or through a friend, but I’m just not sure if it works. Sounds like it would just be one awkward first date after another. Has anyone had a different experience?

  2. Amy says

    I’m with you Caroline– I haven’t found the soul mate but I don’t know about the whole online dating thing. It seems like it sucks a lot of the romance and “story” out of dating. You know? Plus, I have a hard time believing that a computer will match me up with the best possible match. I don’t know. I’m not there yet.

  3. Ashlee Gadd says

    I vote you audition to be the next Bachelorette.

  4. Robin says

    Couldn’t disagree with you gals more. I tried it for 48 hours and met a great guy. I helped a friend write her profile and she’s now moving in with her guy. I’ve got two friends who met their husbands through online dating services. Another friend has been dating her guy she met online for almost a year. Free your minds! Who has time to be a bar-fly? I’d rather gab with the gals when I’m out and about than worry about scoping out the “scene” or have creepers hit on me.

    1. admin says

      Good to know Robin – Sounds like a great GOTG article!!! 🙂

  5. bigsmartypants says

    I’ve not tried it personally, but my aunt just called me yesterday to let me know that she got engaged to the man she’s been dating for two years. They met on match.com. The family loves him and so does my aunt, which is fantastic.
    I agree with Robin, the best thing about being married is freedom from the bar scene. Blech.

  6. Christin says

    I personally have never done the on line dating thing. However, my ex-husband certainly did…while we were married! He enjoyed many a lunch date at Mikunis with his “Match” honies. More recently my boyfriend of 6 months was discovered on Match posing proudly in front of his shiny new convertable. I know, I know…stop chosing losers right? Well, on the surface these guys looked terrific. I think these dating websites facilitate and encourage bad behavior by making it easier than ever for men to sow their oats (so to speak).

  7. Ana says

    Well I have never attempted on-line dating as I am skeptical about it. However, I do know of friends who have. One friend found her soul mate, while the other had dating nightmares. For example, she met one guy for dinner at 8:00 pm. There was no spark. He claimed he had to leave by 9:30 for a prior engagement. The guy met another on-line dater later that night at 10:00 pm. It turned out that the 10:00 pm date was my friend’s co-worker!! The guy double-booked and was only looking to score that night. So I’m not a fan of on-line dating, but then again, any guy can double-book a date.

  8. Caroline Silveira says

    This discussion is AWESOME! I have an excellent update to this story – feature coming soon! Please keep the comments coming, and make sure to check back for my next blog on this expedition for love! Guaranteed to entertain and enlighten.

  9. Brittany says

    I have this conversation with my friends all the time … I think online dating is GREAT! You can find out so much about a person from their profiles before you waste 3, 4 or more dates getting to “know” someone, only to find out that person is not at all what you want.
    Plus, online dating opens up so many possibilities …
    I signed up on Match.com for less than a day … When I first checked my messages, I had a note from a guy who was from California and happened to be on business for a month in Alabama where I lived.
    He was bored, wanted to meet someone to hang out with … I met him for dinner, just looking to meet someone new… turns out, he’s the absolute love of my life.
    I moved to California this summer and just last weekend, we eloped!
    I never would have met my husband if it wasn’t for keeping an open mind and checking out that online dating site.
    Good luck, ladies!

  10. Kelley says

    I have attended three weddings in the past four years for people who met online (one on match, and two on eharmony) I say put yourself out there, who knows what might happen! I also like the Bachelor idea! 🙂

  11. Robin says

    I think, like any dating experience, you have to go into it with a sense of adventure and a solid sense of humor in tact… And maybe, just maybe, you’ll surprise yourself.

  12. A. Muser says

    Great blog ladies!

    I have been married for the past dozen years, so I unfortunately missed the opportunity to use the internet to find a mate, since Al Gore had only recently invented it. Instead, I relied on tried and true means of soliciting female interest; bar trolling, sleuthing in coffee houses, hitting on co-workers, stalking, and picking-up hitch-hikers looking for a ride . . .

    I do view using the internet to find Mr. or Mrs. Right as an “opportunity.” The efficiencies to be achieved by using the internet are enormous. For instance, I would not marry someone that doesn’t share my religious or political views, so why should I waste my time dating people that would lead me down a road to nowhere? Well, I can think of a couple reasons, but I digress . . .

    The internet lets me screen these women out of my target area, allowing me to more likely hit the bulls-eye, someone who meets my criteria.

    For all you nay-sayers, my two brothers met their spouses online, and they are now happily married.

    85% of consumers now go online to make purchases. We demand instant gratification and go online to Amazon, eBay, and even the IRS, God forbid.

    People really need to get beyond the self-imposed taboo they associate with online dating. With a few clicks of a mouse you can eliminate months, if not years, of time and emotion stolen by someone with whom you never had a future from the get-go.

    So, get over yourself, get going and get online to find your mate. The choice is yours; set-up your profile and the qualities of your ideal mate, or get back to trolling and sleuthing, and hope that someone magically falls into your lap. Time is your enemy, so put time on your side and work efficiently, date online.


  13. Roger says

    My sister is now engaged to a guy she met via online dating. And the guy seems pretty cool, so my smug married-guy’s skepticism toward online dating diminished a bit.

    Looking forward to the next installment.

  14. Beth says

    I personally had the worst relationship experience ever with a guy I met on match.com, however my sister met her husband (and now 2 kids later) on e-Harmony. I prefer speed dating, “it’s just lunch” or “eight at eight (4 men/4 women have dinner…you never know if you’ll find a great friend but you walk away with more friends).

  15. Colleen says

    I live in the foothills where there is not a lot to do, places to go and I work at home so it’s rather difficult to meet new guys. I tried ‘It’s Just Lunch’ and found it to be VERY expensive and the guy I ended up dating turned out to be a nightmare. You can find them anywhere…I find match.com pretty easy to use with lots of possibilities while I thought eharmony a little too restrictive. I’ve not been using any avenue for a while, when I get back to it, I at least hope that the journey is fun!

  16. Annette says

    I do think you would put all the other bachelorettes to shame!! But there are some real losers on there, too. I think Match.com has worked well for some people I know. My sister and two of my friends are now married to people they met on Match.com. Other friends have had relationships of varying lengths. I agree with A. Muser that online dating services are a great way to initially screen prospective mates for basic beliefs, values and lifestyles.

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