Found: NYE Hangover Cures
By Laura Braden
I’ve never quite understood why we “celebrate” weekends and the holidays by drinking too much (“Yay, I earned it!”).
But let’s not sugar coat this: in a few short days, most of the populace will be severely hungover – and immensely grateful that this year’s NYE falls on Thursday night – allowing us the entire weekend to recover before dragging our booties back into the office.
The following are some tips to get back to your old self. Trust me, somewhere around the age of…ahem…25, I lost my ability to drink without getting hungover so please don’t take these tips lightly. They come from an honest – and unfortunately seasoned – source.
THE NIGHT BEFORE:
My mom loves to say that you know you’re getting older when you look hungover. You know what I mean ladies…somewhere in our mid-to-late 20’s, our faces just stopped…bouncing back like they used to. Here are some ways to help Mother Nature “shock and awe” your hangover:
- Drink a full glass of water before passing out…er…falling asleep. Before you even leave the house, have a glass/bottle of water waiting by the front door, bedside table, wherever it is most likely that you’re actually going to drink it.
- Take 2 Alka Seltzers or 2 Pamprin/Midol. I don’t know how either of these medicines work as it relates to hangovers, but trust me – they both work. Fantastically. Like Oprah, their magical powers are tangible but undefinable. Just take two of them and thank me in the morning. The latter works on both men and women – in fact, it was my brother and his frat friends that introduced me to this trick – so you know it works. 🙂 Just tell your husband/bfriend it’s Advil.
- Wash your face. This is the hardest tip (for me) to follow. If you’re like me, you walk through the door and all you want is pizza/chinese and your bed. Stat. But trust me, waking up with raccoon eyes will cause (in the long run) wrinkles and make you feel as haggard as you look. Olay’s makes cleansing cloths that take off make-up quickly – and they’re cheap. For this and other similar products at different price points, check out this LINK.
THE MORNING OF:
The aversion to sunlight (God’s flashlight), the sharp shooting pains in your temples, the queasy feeling in your stomach…it can only mean one thing. Yep, you’re hungover. Once you’ve confirmed that you made it home with your cell, debit cards and dignity, it’s time to let the healing begin. Here’s my step-by-step guide.
- Step 1: A high-quality brunch at DAD’s KITCHEN (2968 Freeport Blvd). Slightly off the grid, Dad’s is top-notch food with incredibly nice and laidback staff. No one will judge you for leaving your sunglasses on or for wearing Uggs and a velour track suit. Looking for something on the grid? Try CAPITOL GARAGE (1500 K St).
- Step 2: Bloody mary at BACK DOOR LOUNGE (1112 Firehouse Alley). Ahhh, Back Door, how I love thee, let me count the ways. You have no windows, check. Your walls are covered in tacky art and maroon/purple velvet, check. Your bartenders are probably more hungover than I am, check. You serve the best bloody mary’s at cheap prices, check. If you like dive bars, grab a stool, order a bloody and let the people watching begin.
- **Alternative Step 2: Hot yoga at YOGA LOKA (4820 Folsom Blvd). I know you people exist – you who actually feel better after exercise and who need to sweat out your hangover. I don’t understand you, but I know you exist. For those who fall into this category, there’s no better place to sweat out the demons than hot yoga at Yoga Loka.
- Step 3: Cheeseburger, fries, and a giant fountain drink at SQUEEZE INN (7916 Fruitridge Ave). If the bloody at Back Door didn’t cure you, it’s time to get serious. Slightly off the grid, this place is ridiculously amazing. Basically, they “steam” a handful of cheese on the grill itself so that it hangs off the burger (a good 3 inches all the way around). To look like a seasoned pro, rip off the cheese and wrap your perfectly seasoned fries in it. You won’t be disappointed.
- Step 4: Massage at MELLOW ME OUT (555 Capitol Mall). Simply one of the best and most affordable day spas in the area. Where else can you get a (great) 90 minute massage for $89?
- Step 5: Retreat to your living room. Around this time, you’ll probably need another dose of Alka Seltzer or Pamprin/Midol, so take two, put on your sweats (or snuggie), pull the shades, keep drinking water, and start the movie marathon. My personal favorites are Sex and the City (the movie), Pride and Prejudice and of course, the Hangover. Go ahead and netflix your choices now so they’ll be at your house in time.
I hope some or all of these tips help you feel better. Because really, life is too short to be hungover.
Some of my favorite comedy bits/clips on being hungover. Just in case you wake up January 1 feeling like you’re the only person in the world who feels this way.
- Bill Cosby’s take on drinking – “I’m going out to have a good time!” – from his essential 1983 Himself show. Classic. If you haven’t seen it, rent/netflix/buy the whole thing. Hilarious and still timely – the mark of a true comic. (VIDEO LINK)
- Jim Breuer’s “party in my stomach. And the stomach is the bouncer.” (VIDEO LINK)
- Larry Miller’s “5 levels of drinking…6 if you live in a trailer park.” (VIDEO LINK)
- And this generation’s quintessential movie on drinking: Hangover. (VIDEO LINK)
EDITOR’s NOTE: What did we miss? How do you avoid or get over your hangovers? Share your feedback and tips at girlsonthegrid AT gmail DOT com.